Disclaimer-I wrote this when I was pissed off the other day and needed to vent.  Figured even though I am not angry and more that I should still post it.

I am not perfect-Yet I always wish that I was

If I was perfect maybe life would be easier
If I was perfect I would make more money and be able to save it better
If I was perfect I would cook amazingly healthy meals that everyone loves on a shoestring budget
If I was perfect the house would always be clean and everything would be in its place-Including my hair
If I was perfect our kids would always be well behaved, never make a mess, and speak in soft voices because I am that good of a mother
If I was perfect my body would stay the same In some places and get super skinny in others
If I was perfect our life might be different-but I am not

cryptocurrency trading platform philippines I am messy, I am disorganized, I am forgetful

But I am a damn good mom, friend, and teacher who loves with all of her heart and believes in the best of people even to a fault

I am complicated, I am sleep deprived, I am cranky, I am stressed

But I find the joy in an many little and crazy things as possible, even laughing when I should be crying

I am dramatic, I am funny, I am snarky

I AM ME

And maybe, just maybe that is what perfect is

I AM PERFECTLY IMPERFECT

Despite things being crazy at home I have been reading.  Although not as much as I would like and only at night before bed, but I have been reading.  A few months ago Papa Hunt read the first book in the Hunger Games Trilogy and couldn't stop talking about how amazing it was.  When he discussed them with me I thought...ugh science fiction.  Yet, he swore up and down that I would love them so I indulged him and began reading this beloved series of his.....well hot damn he was right (here is where I would want me to tell all my readers that he is always right so I should know by now that he is always right).  Well anyways.....

best bitcoin trading platform philippines It was so friggin good.  I mean I stayed up to one o'clock during Christmas vacation to finish the first one and the next night immediately started reading the second one.  They are that good.  Not only are the characters so well written, you find yourself deeply caring about them. You are find that you are invested in them and experience the ups and downs of their lives with them.  Without giving away too much of the book it is set in a world where we are now broken up into districts with one Capital District in charge.  Each year to remind the districts of the war and how they lost each of the districts must supply one male and one female teenager to be brought to the Capital to compete in a death match with the other districts children.  The winner of this competition not only gets a lot of honor but they will bring much needed food and supplies back to their district. 

I loved this because you find yourself connecting with the main character Katniss, her family, and the love triangle that she gets herself into.  In fact those who have read the books start getting geeky like those who love twilight with team Jacob and team Edward.  Except with the Hunger Games its Team Peeta and Team Gale (for the record I was team Gale for two books then firmly moved into team Peeta for the third). 

These books are a quick great read and I would suggest them to anyone....my only two complaints about them is in the third book there are two deaths which I did not feel were given adequate print time considering who they were.  The second complaint I do not feel that these books were young adult.  I think the would be great for high school kids, but for middle school I think the subjects that are dealt with are a bit too heavy. 

If you haven't already go buy these books and read them....Have you left yet???

So the past few weeks have been crazy as you can tell by my posts.  I have started to feel like I am locking down my family.  That more often than not I am enjoying being home with the kids and Papa Hunt.  Doing family stuff.  Although we have had social things to go to they are stressful. Stressful for D who because of his anxiety it causes him to get overwhelmed after social situations.  Also, if Papa Hunt is having an off day (thankfully those are getting less and less and we are seeing a bright light at the end of this depression tunnel) it is hard for him to be on for other people.  I am a social butterfly but lately I have just wanted to be home.  I went out on Friday night with friends from work, laughed so hard I almost peed my pants, but in the end I missed my family.  This not wanting to be out and social is weird for me.  I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea like I am depressed and locking myself away (I did that the first time Papa Hunt had a bout with depression and it wasn't good) it is more like nesting.  Like i am trying to take care of my family, to heal them, make them whole again.  A wise woman in my life said its not lock down it is you creating a sanctuary for your family.  You are doing exactly what your kids needs, for you to be there for them.  She then said something that shocked me....she said you are growing up.  It feels weird because you are not used to it, but this is grown up life.  You spend your time with your family and love it rather than with a social circle.  That hit me....that is exactly it.  I am choosing to forgo doing social things or me things because I want to be with them, not because I have to.  I think this somehow makes it sound like I hated spending time with my family prior to this, but that is not true, but I would desperately miss my pre-kid social time with friends or just by myself.  Yet, lately I find I am not missing it and that I just want to do the mom and wife thing.  So maybe now at almost 32 I am growing up!! Imagine that.

Just wanted to put down a quick post saying that I am still here.  Despite the crazy thing that is my life i Have been hanging in weight wise.  I have lost about two and half pounds in three weeks not a lot but I will take it!  Also things with my dad are at a stand still, nothing major needs to be done right now about his heart but he still needs to see a specialist to make sure he won't need surgery.  Work is going well we are in exams which is a nice break because we have half days but that also brings the grading of these exams which is a bummer.  So hence the short post.  I am off to grade.  Hopefully I will begin to post a bit more regularly starting next week.  I have been reading and can't wait to post a few reviews of some of the books that I have read lately. I hope this finds the rest of the bloggy world well!!

Ok so warning this is a total pity party post but I figured I should do it and get it out of my system. Also, a wee bit of TMI depending on your outlook.  So as I have mentioned before things around our house are crazy and that really hasn't changed.  Two weeks ago I found a lump....tried not to panic because from nursing two kids or a year each the girls shall we say are not as smooth and perfect as they used to be.  So I went to the Dr and come to find out apparently is the birth control I am on that is sending my system out of whack so she suggested an IUD (which if it works correctly I may not have a certain visitor for the next five years.  So I am lucky enough to schedule this for Monday which I have off.  Well the Dr was delivery two sets of twins and was running two hours late, oh well what can you do.  So I go in get this done and lets just say it was a wee bit more painful than the Dr indicated but no big deal....well at least I though so until I was scheduling my follow up appointment and started to pass out.  So here I am in the waiting room slumped in a chair and had to be helped by the Dr back to the exam room to sit for the next hour.  Apparently, this is normal just most women do it right after its put in not ten minutes later.  So I finally get home and am resting because the light cramping that the "educational pamphlet" mentioned wasn't light it was more like hey I remember cramps like this...I was in labor.  So I finally fall asleep and the phone rings and its my dad.  He is calling with bad news.  Apparently the heart murmur he has always had may be turning into something serious.  Something with his Aorta.  So although I am desperately trying to not freak out (I am the queen of unnecessary freak out) I am barely holding it together.  So not only am I a hot crampy mess, not I am trying not to think about this thing with my dad.  So I am home today with the kids because my dad has to have some tests done and am trying to get my mind centered and calm.  I have tons and tons of school work that is backing up because things have been crazy at home and my senior grades are due by Friday for the semester.  Oh yeah and I have to make up an final exam by Friday too.  I am trying not to sit in the corner in cry, although I did have a cry fest with the hubby and told him I am just so pissed because all I want to do is eat cupcakes and ho-hos, and Cheetos till I feel better.  Which I know won't make me feel better but I still want to.  I am going to try and get to the gym today with the kids or perhaps tomorrow we shall see.  OK I feel a bit better now that I had my pity party. Thanks for bearing with me!

Ok-I am the world's luckiest mom-I get author's sending me great children's books to review.  I was chosen to review a sweet girly book called Gracie's Gift by Andrea Trosclair.  It is about a young girl who does not want to wear a bow in her hair.  Then her mother explains why she loves for her daughter to wear a bow-because it is her way of thanking God for her special baby girl.  Of course I get all misty reading this book but for two reasons.  As a mom we all know how important it is for our children to know we love them and what better way then a daily reminder about love.  Second, my baby J will not wear anything in her hair (well provided you aren't counting food because she always has food in her hair).  This is a really sweet book and best of all a portion of all the books sold goes to the MS Association of America (a disease that the author suffers from herself).  I really loved this book and so did both of my kids (even my son loved it and wanted to know why boys didn't get to wear bows).  So please go check out the authors website at www.trosclairtales.com or stop by amazon to pick up a copy of Gracie's Gift

As of January 4, 2012
***All updates are noted in Red


1.  No Soda Except on my Birthday-4/4
2. Eat Dairy free-My stomach has been awful this week because I haven't been
3. Scrapbook Josie's first 12 Months 0/12
4. Finish Dylan's first 12 Months scrapbook (he is almost five and all) 9/12 (slight cheating since I was on 9 when I made this goal)
5. Exercise 3 times a week (166 Times this year) 0/166
6. Read 30 books 0/30
7. Make 12 projects with my grandma's group on Facebook (not that I am a grandma but we do grandma type projects) 0/12
8. Make an effort to connect with those people I care about.  Call, Email, or write a good friend once a week (52 times this year) 0/52
9. Make 100 posts this year on my blog 2/100
10. Spend more time being present with my kids-Be in the moment with them put down the phone 
11.  Finish at least four more graduate courses to bring me closer to maxing out on the salary scale at my job 0/4
12. Be kind to myself-No negative nasty voice in the back of my head